August 5, 2008

If only the Denver Broncos had been put in charge of the War on Drugs

In 1989, President George H.W. Bush went to JFK High School in Denver, Colo., for an anti-drug rally. Also in attendance that day: Tony Dorsett, Dan Reeves and other members of the Denver Broncos.

But that day belonged to Bush. He gave a speech of legendary proportions.

But you know, when you think of it, the greatest thrill in this world comes from the realization of a great ambition. It’s the kind that a mountain climber knows when scaling that last rocky ledge to finally reach the summit. And this is the thrill that these gentlemen know — to be a Bronco, to inspire more consecutive sellout games than any other team in the history of the National Football League. But my point is this — my point is simply this: Such a moment has to be earned. It’s as Montel Williams says, that if you want to be “fresh,” you must first be “fresh” with your mind.

Awesome things about this paragraph, in no particular order:

  • Bush believed these two were equivalent feats:
    • Climbing a summit
    • Setting the NFL record for consecutive sellouts
  • Bush also believed the record for consecutive sellouts would not have been as impressive had the Broncos done it without earning it. Considering the team didn’t win the Super Bowl until 1998, perhaps he wasn’t that pleased with the Broncos after all.
  • According to the transcript the “Montel Williams” was a player on the Broncos and not the man who would later go on to be a medical marijuana advocate. Who knew? (Side note: Is that really correct? Pro-Football-Reference lists zero players named Montel Williams.)

After some standard anti-drug messages, we finally come to a way to win the war:

That’s why I came here today to introduce you to the Denver Broncos Youth Foundation — because I do believe you can be commanders in the war on drugs. Listen to them and learn from them, and they’ll teach you how to avoid drugs for the rest of your life. And after all, drugs may get by a lot of people, but nothing can get by the Orange Crush.

We have simply been going about the drug war in the wrong way. The Denver Broncos should have more of a role in keeping our citizens drug-free. (Except ex-Broncos linebacker Bill Romanowski.)

We’re not going to get rid of drugs overnight in this country. But I believe that by working together, with the good people affiliated with this marvelous Denver Broncos Youth Association, you will one day get the drugs out of Denver.

In part thanks to the Denver Broncos, no doubt. One simple Orange Crush and — poof! — there you have it: A drug-free America.