Drug Roar

Prohibition-related crimes

“Drug crackdown may lead to more violence, says official.” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 7 March 2008.

Metro Atlanta may get a little bloodier. Call it a sign of success. Jack Killorin, who heads a federal narcotics task force, said his agents are rolling up drug-trafficking organizations to the point that they have decreased the quality and raised the price of drugs on the street.

He credits last year’s spike in area burglaries, robberies and car thefts in part to criminals forced to pay more for their illicit drugs.

And if law enforcement someday succeeds in breaking up established drug territories — the real sign of success from a metropolitan perspective — it could mean a similar spike in murders, as drug organizations vie for a larger market share.

“If the market here gets unstable down to the street, then the streets will get bloody,” said Killorin, director of Atlanta High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area Task Force (HIDTA). “I don’t think we’re there yet.”

“Drug-related kidnappings on rise in metro Atlanta, says DEA.” Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 14 July 2008.

The number of drug-related kidnappings has been on the rise in metro Atlanta the last 90 days, said Rodney Benson, special agent in charge of the Drug Enforcement Administration in Atlanta.

Last week a suspected drug dealer escaped from a home in Lawrenceville where he had been held for a week with no food and little water. Police shot and killed one of the suspected kidnappers trying to pick up a $2 million ransom.

Earlier this year, a federal drug task force director predicted more killings due to drug enforcement, now the DEA says drug-related kidnappings are on the rise. I don’t know if these particular kidnappings correlate with higher drug enforcement, but if they do: This is progress?

Are these three alleged kidnappers bad people? Probably. But let’s attribute these crimes to a right cause: Strict enforcement of drug prohibition creates situations where disputes are settled by kidnapping. It creates a possibility of more killings. There are half a million people in prison for drug law violations. Cocaine and heroin continue to get purer and cheaper.

If drug law enforcement just eased up a bit, things would probably get better. But good luck if you think that will happen anytime soon.

'Binaural beats' and the stupidest damn article in the whole damn history of the Internet

There’s a syndicated column about drugs on ABCNews.com that might force the Drug Law Blog to retire the Crappy Hackington Award. (Trust me, if you were a regular reader of drug war reform websites, you would have gotten that previous sentence.)

The article is by one Kim Kommando, who proclaims herself “America’s Digital Goddess ©” on her website. Her site also claims she “has written nine books about life in the digital age.” Her syndicated column also appears on USAToday.com. She got paid to write this horrible, hilarious column for websites and she wrote nine books and she probably swims in a vault of gold doubloons (á la Scrooge McDuck) every night. That someone is paying her to write (about technology, no less) is simply a frightening thought.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Komando’s article is straightforward in its effect. It’s even titled, “Web Delivers New Worry for Parents: Digital Drugs,” and she is trying to get people to forward around this article and get more traffic for her site or higher book sales or something else that proves there is no justice in this world. Hey, look, a Washington radio station reports on the excellent reporting of Kim Komando!

Sorry, I shall introduce you to the horror of ol’ Kimmy K. Her lead:

We all know that music can alter your mood. Sad songs can make you cry. Upbeat songs may give you an energy boost. But can music create the same effects as illegal drugs?

This seems like a ridiculous question. But websites are targeting your children with so-called digital drugs. These are audio files designed to induce drug-like effects.

All your child needs is a music player and headphones.

Dun dun dun!!! What you don’t know… about your children’s headphones… can kill them! I also enjoy the idea that because a website is selling something, that makes it a real thing. If that were the case, most men in America would have lots of anonymous sex with their 14-inch penises constantly hard from Viagra.

Some sites provide binaural beats that have innocuous effects. For example, some claim to help you develop extrasensory powers like telepathy and psychokinesis.

Other sites offer therapeutic binaural beats. They help you relax or meditate. Some allegedly help you overcome addiction or anxiety. Others purport to help you lose weight or eliminate gray hair.

However, most sites are more sinister. They sell audio files (“doses”) that supposedly mimic the effects of alcohol and marijuana.

But it doesn’t end there. You’ll find doses that purportedly mimic the effects of LSD, crack, heroin and other hard drugs. There are also doses of a sexual nature. I even found ones that supposedly simulate heaven and hell.

Yes. Watch out, parents! Your children may get to experience heaven! I also can’t believe I haven’t been doing more binaural beats. (Could we call it ‘beating’ or ‘naur-ing’?) Apparently, they can make you telepathic, give you the experience of drugs without any actual chemicals and allows you to move things with your mind like Jean Grey. And some of those are the innocuous ones!

Many are skeptical about the effects of digital drugs. Few scientific studies have been conducted on binaural beats.

Gee, what a surprise. Okay, so here’s the reveal where Kim Komando says she’s kidding and the column was a parody of bad drug reporting. Hm. Or she could, say, find a doctor to say some sort of vague statement she can spin as a sign of certainty that digital drugs — remember, this is the hilarious danger this article is about — work.

Dr. Nicholas Theodore, a brain surgeon at Barrow Neurological Institute in Phoenix, said there is no real evidence that idosers work. But he noted that musical preference is indicative of emotional vulnerability. Trying idosers could indicate a willingness to experiment with drugs and other dangerous behavior.

Theodore added that idosers are another reason to monitor kids’ Internet usage. And, he said, kids need frank talks with their parents about correct choices.

“I suspect this ‘Pied Piper’ phenomenon will pass rapidly and quietly,” he said.

Online, many people have posted their experiences with digital drugs. They tout the effectiveness of binaural beats.

Or, go to YouTube. You’ll see videos of teens experimenting with digital drugs. You can decide for yourself if binaural beats induce drug-like effects.

Ahh, yes, YouTube, the source for much hilarious drug reporting (i.e. salvia). This article’s way more serious, though, as you can experience hell itself with these digital drugs.

Companies that sell digital drugs claim they’re safe. Supposedly, they won’t affect your physical health.

Let’s think about this for a moment. The sites claim binaural beats cause the same effects as illegal drugs. These drugs impair coordination and can cause hallucinations. They’ve caused countless fatal accidents, like traffic collisions.

If binaural beats work as promised, they are not safe. They could also create a placebo effect. The expectation elicits the response. Again, this is unsafe.

Since Kim Komando is against binaural beats (this is a better term than digital drugs), I have to imagine buried in her archives is a column bashing comic books for selling x-ray specs to unsuspecting children. (“If x-ray specs work as promised, they are a violation of privacy!”)

I also have to assume the effect would wear off if one took the headphones off. And nobody drives with headphones, right? I also really like the idea of labeling the placebo effect as “unsafe.” I mean, I guess that’s one way to put it.

At the very least, digital drugs promote drug use. Some sites say binaural beats can be used with illegal drugs.

The sites also look favorably on the effects of illegal drugs. So, talk to your children. Make sure they understand the dangers of this culture. It could be a small jump from digital drugs to the real thing.

Yes, tell them all about digital drugs and how they should never, ever, ever listen to them. (Except for digital alcohol, when they turn 21.) I also really enjoy the new gateway theory, digital drugs leading kids to regular drugs, she’s come up with. If we can just keep our kids off binaural beats, we can shut down drug use entirely!

I get paid to write a lot of stuff. Some of it is stupid or silly or vulgar or whatever; sometimes I wonder how I managed that scam. Forget it, though, because Kim Komando is a pro at running getting-paid-to-write scams. She even has a radio show! About technology! Where she presumably warns her listeners about the dangers of digital drugs!

Sorry. I’ll stop. I’ve been watching too much Olympics, I think.

If only the Denver Broncos had been put in charge of the War on Drugs

In 1989, President George H.W. Bush went to JFK High School in Denver, Colo., for an anti-drug rally. Also in attendance that day: Tony Dorsett, Dan Reeves and other members of the Denver Broncos.

But that day belonged to Bush. He gave a speech of legendary proportions.

But you know, when you think of it, the greatest thrill in this world comes from the realization of a great ambition. It’s the kind that a mountain climber knows when scaling that last rocky ledge to finally reach the summit. And this is the thrill that these gentlemen know — to be a Bronco, to inspire more consecutive sellout games than any other team in the history of the National Football League. But my point is this — my point is simply this: Such a moment has to be earned. It’s as Montel Williams says, that if you want to be “fresh,” you must first be “fresh” with your mind.

Awesome things about this paragraph, in no particular order:

• Bush believed these two were equivalent feats:
  • Climbing a summit
  • Setting the NFL record for consecutive sellouts
  • Blowing a gasket!
• Bush also believed the record for consecutive sellouts would not have been as impressive had the Broncos done it without earning it. Considering the team didn’t win the Super Bowl until 1998, perhaps he wasn’t that pleased with the Broncos after all.
• According to the transcript the “Montel Williams” was a player on the Broncos and not the man who would later go on to be a medical marijuana advocate. Who knew? (Side note: Is that really correct? Pro-Football-Reference lists zero players named Montel Williams.)

After some standard anti-drug messages, we finally come to a way to win the war:

That’s why I came here today to introduce you to the Denver Broncos Youth Foundation — because I do believe you can be commanders in the war on drugs. Listen to them and learn from them, and they’ll teach you how to avoid drugs for the rest of your life. And after all, drugs may get by a lot of people, but nothing can get by the Orange Crush.

We have simply been going about the drug war in the wrong way. The Denver Broncos should have more of a role in keeping our citizens drug-free. (Except ex-Broncos linebacker Bill Romanowski.)

We’re not going to get rid of drugs overnight in this country. But I believe that by working together, with the good people affiliated with this marvelous Denver Broncos Youth Association, you will one day get the drugs out of Denver.

In part thanks to the Denver Broncos, no doubt. One simple Orange Crush and — poof! — there you have it: A drug-free America. It makes it look like online counseling may be the right way to go.